Signs The Semester Is Ending (Faculty Edition)
By Sophia Domokos
1. Every single one of your pens has run out of ink.
2. For lunch you had a half-wrapped Hershey’s kiss you found in your desk while looking for a pen.
3. The sophisticated organizational scheme you adopted in September has devolved into to-do lists scrawled in the frantic hand of a person about to be devoured by zombies, and a dense shag of Post-Its feathering your computer.
4. Most if not all of these Post-It’s end in “Today!!!” (underlined twice).
5. Most if not all of these Post-It’s are from yesterday.
6. Or the day before.
6. You have relegated so many tasks to when the semester is over that their weight has warped the spacetime continuum.
6. Your workout regimen is sprinting to the office holiday party for first dibs on the cheese plate.
(6. Grading!!! Today!!!)
6. You keep thinking you hear zombies at the door.
6. Running from zombies is a workout, right?
7. Oh, maybe that’s Christmas music.
Sophia Domokos is Editor in Chief of the Cooper Square Review, and is very glad the semester is ending.